Gap year at 40
9/23/2025 8:36:00 PM
GAP YEAR AT 40 - SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TIME OUT!
On approaching 40, I found that my life wasn’t going in the direction I had expected – instead of having the secure family home with a loving husband, comfortable house, possibly two kids, and a job that I felt passionate about - my partner of nearly 3 ½ years and I separated and although I’d felt privileged in my job as a TV Producer/Director, I didn’t think it was giving me the satisfaction that I craved. I was feeling worn down by everything; the relationship breakdown (including the fact that I’d suffered a miscarriage just 6 months previously); the insecurity of freelance work and the fact that each project meant a different location, a different team and different hours – along with the reality that my real passion to keep fit and keep my weight down was taking 2nd place. Suddenly after working non-stop for the best part of 16 years I decided to quit and go travelling around the world – solo. I’d always wanted to do it – ever since one of my elder sisters had done it after graduating from university. Somehow the ‘right’ time had never materialised for me. Knowing when the right time is, is difficult to judge, but I suppose you just 'know' when that time has come. Somehow ‘now’ was the right time for me.
I love mountains, lakes and snow so it wasn’t difficult to plan my itinerary. Trekking in Nepal would be first (at least I could start in an organised group before heading off on my own), then Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, Fiji and the West Coast of Canada was to follow. The latter was particularly important to me as before our split my ex-boyfriend and I had planned a holiday to Vancouver and the Rockies with another couple so that the boys could compete in the prestigious Ironman Canada Triathlon. As it was he took his new girlfriend instead of me, so I was determined to go there anyway….. (I’d always been told how beautiful it was and I’d also been looking forward to visiting an old work colleague who’d moved out there a few years previously. ) Life is very strange sometimes and you never know quite what it’s going to throw at you, but nothing was going to stop me seeing British Columbia for myself.
It took me about four or five months to plan my trip; buy tickets, get visas and set a date for my departure (November 13th 2003). For peace of mind I also pre booked accommodation in most of the major cities I would be visiting so at least I ‘d have somewhere to go from the airport. I also had to get travellers cheques and at least some cash in every currency of the countries I would be going to. I don’t think my family or friends could believe the awesome goal that I had set myself, nor that I meant to see it through! Before my departure I did get jittery every now and then, but I knew it was something I had to do for myself. My final obstacle before leaving was finding tenants for my flat – I didn’t want to leave it empty (for security reasons as much as anything) and I felt why waste an opportunity to help it pay for itself. So when private ads failed to produce the right people, I went to an agent and luckily just three weeks before my departure they found a lovely couple to take it on. So one hurdle over with at least but I knew I should be prepared for more – this was an adventure after all! A major concern before I left was that my start could be delayed and my trip to Nepal cancelled because of the Maoist conflict with the Government there, threatening stability in the country. In the last few weeks I must have checked the Foreign Office website every day to make sure travel to Nepal was not being advised against. Not only did I want to go to Nepal because I’d booked my group trip but when my ex and I had visited India two years previously, we were unable to go to Nepal because of the untimely murders of many members of the Royal Family by the heir to the throne…. creating instability and unrest. Apart from the beautiful scenery, trekking in Nepal with the group meant there would be organised activities to keep me busy and my mind off thoughts back home.
So my leaving date came and went, and strangely without me knowing, my father had booked to fly to India on the same day to visit his brother in Mumbai. I was off to Delhi for my transfer to Kathmandu in Nepal, but at least it meant we could go to Heathrow Airport on the train together. It was very strange and a bit sad when we kissed goodbye as we arrived at Terminal 4 which was my stop.… but I did have the happy thought to take with me that he would be flying up to Kathmandu in a few weeks time to see me. Nepal was beautiful, humbling and awe –inspiring, especially staying, at one point, opposite the Everest Range. We were never quite sure which peak was Everest itself but just knowing how close we were to this majestical place was enough to make us all behave like excited school children again. The views took our breath away. After my group holiday ended I decided to do more trekking and so just myself and a hired guide set off for Poon Hill Lookout, part of the Annapurna Circuit – it was quite tough at 3200m but well worth the effort! (360o views of the Dalgeri, Fishtail and Annapurna peaks). Another highlight was the mountain flight around Everest, which I did once reunited with my dad again. The views were unbelievable and stunning! What amazing scenery and lovely people Nepal has to offer, and although it’s impossible to compare each of the places I visited, my holiday did just get better and better. After a short trip to Chitwan National Park in the elusive search for tigers, my dad and I said our goodbyes again as he returned to England and I continued onto my next stop, Thailand.
I’d decided to begin my time in Thailand in Chiang Mai – a lot less busy than Bangkok and a good place to ease myself into the culture. I was mesmerised by the colour and splendour of the temples and the sheer volume of them. It was easy to see how important they are to Thai people. After a few days exploring the city, I headed out for a trek in the hills overlooking Burma; staying overnight with villagers, riding elephants across rivers and bamboo rafting! Was this really me doing this? Many times throughout my trip I had to pinch myself to confirm this was me doing all these amazing and sometimes ‘mad’ things. ….. Where previously I would have found myself afraid to try even any of them, here I was participating wholeheartedly!
A few months before my trip I’d been inspired by a TV programme “Celebrity Detox” to stay at a health spa on the island of Koh Samui and so it was that my pre Christmas days were spent fasting, swallowing huge herbal nutrient and cleansing pills which tasted disgusting, and undergoing 2 daily enemas (colonic irrigation for those that haven’t experienced it!) – What had I let myself in for this time?! I soon got into the hang of it all and enjoyed daily meditation, Chi Gong classes and Thai massage, and I made some good friends and loved the island. And I even think I was beginning to look and feel like my old self again. Though Lamai and Chaewang have a few seedy parts to them, other areas like Bo Phut and Maenam were more than I could hope for – wonderful beaches, blue skies and turquoise seas! Christmas Day was spent kayaking, swimming and snorkelling in Anthong National Park (famous for its inspiration for the book and film “The Beach” starring Leonardo di Caprio. Christmas evening and New Year (post fast) were spent drinking and dancing the night away at a lovely beach bar tastefully decorated in Balinese style. For a while I had regrets about not finding space in my itinerary to visit Bali but my stay in Thailand more than made up for what I could be missing. In Thailand I was finally able to relax. Again villagers were humbling and Bangkok offered more than I could ever have expected. I loved it all. ….
I arrived in Sydney on the 4th of Jan and it was only now that I became a real backpacker….to follow the trail up the East Coast to Cairns. More often than not I was nearly double the age of my fellow travel companions on the bus, but it didn’t matter and I had some great times, again met some lovely people and discovered courage that I didn’t know I had. Camping on Fraser Island (with the threat of dingoes licking your behind as you squatted for the loo, and the ever threat of poisonous snakes, scorpions and redback spiders, let alone stinger jelly fish and sharks in the sea were enough to give you nightmares). It must all be character building, surely! I loved my 1st experience of scuba diving - well post the initial panic attack I had before we’d even gone under. But my instructor was patient and caring and I was soon able to enjoy myself – travelling through caves and around the biggest corals you could imagine, not to mention the colourful (Nemo) fish and giant clams. Again, I was lucky to have a wonderful and friendly group and we all had lots of fun together. (The drinking card games helped to break the ice in the evenings with some hilarious consequences). I was blissfully happy sailing around the Whitsunday Islands – with white sand and turquoise water. Staying in dorms a lot of time on my trip could be quite difficult because everyone has their own itinerary and places they want to go, so you’re inevitably going to part company and move on at some point. Also many travellers have already linked up with ‘travel buddies’ making anyone travelling solo a bit of an outsider, but it does have it’s pros and cons which I’ll go into bit more later on. My highlights in Australia have to be staying with my old school friend Mandy and her family in Brisbane – they’d mapped out a whole week of activities for me including Birthday celebrations – we had a wonderful time! Scuba diving, as I mentioned before was a fantastic experience, as was climbing Ayers Rock. I made the choice to climb it, despite statements in tour guides etc. asking you not to, because I’d met someone who works with Aborigines and he’d been told they couldn’t understand why people were stopped other than for safety purposes (and not cultural importance). It is a very sacred and special place. It’s also quite high up and a tough climb particularly in the heat or on a windy day. So who knows the real source of the “appeal “ for people not to climb? The day it was offered to us, the Rock was open (it had been closed the previous two days), and at 7 o’clock in the morning, it was still cool enough. Plus hundreds of other tourists were already on their way up so I thought why not; one more won’t hurt and it was one of my most exhilarating experiences ever! The Great Ocean Road in South Australia had always been somewhere I wanted to visit and the rock formations and high seas easily lived up to my expectations. On the day, our tour was slightly rushed but I was in good company and had a great time. Once back in Sydney (after nine weeks of touring Australia), it felt like coming home and I soon got back into my regular runs around The Domain and the Botanical Gardens. And Centennial Park must be the best municipal park in the world - with running, cycling and horse riding tracks, a show jumping field, cricket, football and rugby pitches plus many more acres of green fields for leisurely walks and just pottering about! This place is magical for any sports enthusiast! I loved it. Soon my time in Oz was up and I was ready to hit New Zealand – my next destination. What can I say other than to repeat myself – my trip just got better and better. The scenery is breathtaking (the North & South Island) and there is so much space for everyone. (Well okay bar Auckland that is!) And everything seems to operate properly! The buses and trains are always on time and the most hassle we got was from sheep crossing the road! From the very north of the North Island – at Cape Reinga – where the Pacific meets the Tasman Sea, to Milford Sound and Dunedin at the bottom of the South Island – I loved it all. My favourites being “doing” (or should I say climbing!) The Tongariro Crossing (home of Mt. Doom in Lord of the Rings), the Marlborough Sounds, as you cross the sea to the South Island, Abel Tasman National Park (South Island) , The Coromandel Peninsula (in the North Island), Wanaka, Queenstown and Mt. Cook (all in the South Island), the Transalpine train crossing from Christchurch to Greymouth (though I wouldn’t recommend anyone stop in Greymouth if you can help it!) At every turn, and at each new place I got to, I couldn’t believe how beautiful it all was. Swimming with a pod of 200 dolphins was sure adrenaline overload. I’d become a kid again – even to the extent of overcoming my long fear of parachuting. I did a tandem skydive from 13000 ft and loved it so much that I asked if I could do it all again! (I didn’t though just in case I caught the bug). But sadly it wasn’t all roses unfortunately. At the beginning of my story I said that I hadn’t expected it all to be plain sailing – and it wasn’t. Up until my last two weeks in New Zealand, apart from the occasional pangs of missing friends and family, the trip had been a complete success and I was so enjoying myself I probably became too relaxed! While star gazing in the hot tub of one hostel in Kaikoura of all places, (a small tourist town renown for dolphin and whale watching), three of my bags were stolen; including my precious camera and all my undeveloped films of my time in NZ which I was waiting to send home once I got back to Auckland. I was mortified, very upset and very angry – particularly with myself for being off guard and trusting of the owners. Or should I say caretakers, who didn’t give out any keys to people in the dorms and who’d ensured me how safe it was there! Well, they had to eat their words (though they did so reluctantly) but at my and my roommates’ expense. For a moment I considered giving up and coming home, but at least I still had my passport and flight tickets, a spare credit card and traveller’s cheques, so not to be beaten by the ****** (sorry, no-gooders) who took our stuff, I decided to continue. If physically I could go on, then I would. I was having too much of a good adventure and I still had my itinerary to complete! Though what was also very annoying was that the thieves took my mobile phone and address book which contained numbers and contact details for many of the lovely people I’d met so far but who’d I’d not yet had time to copy their details elsewhere. (So sorry to anyone who didn’t receive an email or with whom I lost contact because your numbers were taken! Particularly Keiran in Melbourne, artist Richard who was at the YHA with us in Lorne, and Sylvia and John ? in Wales; please forgive me. With mixed emotions of New Zealand – I loved it but left with a bad taste in my mouth because of the theft – I headed to Fiji with some trepidation. I didn’t know what to expect, nor how basic it might be! Though definitely different from Australia and New Zealand, it didn’t disappoint me. My first stop Nadi (pronounced Nandi), was a bit like a little India. Many Indians had moved to Fiji since the 1900’s and so now the country (or Islands) are made up of native Fijians, Indians and their descendants, and a small number of Caucasian people. After one night on the main island of Viti Levu , I took off on the Yasawa Flyer (or yellow boat) to see some of the smaller islands. On my way to chosen destination of Nanuya Lailai (made famous in the 1980 film “The Blue Lagoon” starring Brooke Shields, we passed tiny South Sea Island which was so small I was sure it would fit into the palm of my hand. Amazing white sand circled the shore around these beautiful islands and some were so small that I thought one big wave and they would be covered. We motored on through the Manuca islands including the party mad Beachcomber, and some four hours later we arrived at the Yasawas .My resort, “Sunrise Lagoon” was lovely. It was run by a very hospitable family. It was clean with traditional Burres on the beach (weaved wooden huts), and wonderful food. I’d been a bit worried I might go lacking here being vegetarian but my meals were probably preferable to what the others got !. The island was small enough to walk or run round in less than an hour, and on the opposite side from our resort we were rewarded with the turquoise calm sea of the lagoon. Celebrities and the like from around the world stay at the nearby private “Turtle Island”. On one of our walks we got a glimpse but though their resort may be superior, I think our island had more to offer. Our evenings were spent playing cards, holding crab races and one evening I went on a sunset hike. Seeing the sky changing colour as night fell was marvellous. Fiji was a truly wonderful experience enhanced by meeting some lovely travel companions .
After Fiji, my last but by no means least stop was Vancouver and the west coast of Canada. Although nearly a year later than when I should have been there, finally I’d arrived. My room at the YWCA was a pleasant change from dorms and the sandy burre in Fuji. To have a bit of luxury and privacy was brilliant! I had an initial couple of well spent days exploring the tourist sites of Stanley Park, Granville Island, English (Sunset) Bay, and Kitzilano. Then I made the quick and trouble -free trip to Fort Langley to see my old work friend. The skytrain and bus journey went like clockwork and it was so great to be in a home again, to see her again and have fun with her family. Then it was back to Vancouver for the Adidas Half Marathon. I’d entered some six months previously to give myself a goal to look forward to so that I kept up with some training on my travels. The race was good, even though it felt a bit weird doing an over seas race on my own. But I met some lovely people at the pre- race ‘pasta party’ and after the race had finished.
Another highlight of my trip was to join a ‘Backpacker’ bus tour taking in Whistler, Jasper, Banff, Lake Louise, Kelowna and more. The Rockies were magnificent and apart from the odd cloudy day, and one snow blizzard, the weather was excellent. The mountains around Lake Louise were particularly beautiful. Bear spotting (on both the mainland and Vancouver Island) was exciting enough in itself but with the added splendour of the scenery, I really enjoyed myself. Then suddenly it was all over and it was time to fly home again. I’d covered nearly 29,000 miles and been through seven countries.
Once I was back, I couldn’t believe I did it all and that it had been and gone. It was a goal that I wanted to do but wasn’t sure what to expect. But now that I have done it, I’m really pleased I did. It may not have changed my life nor made anything different than it was before, but it was a way of escaping, picking up the pieces and moving on. I feel that whatever life throws at me now, I will be able to survive and hopefully make decisions which I’ll be happy about. I hope this brings inspiration to others who are unsure about where their life is going at the moment – stick with it and one way or another it will work itself out!